Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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