Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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