Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
