Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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