Dual....:-)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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