Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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