I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
NoShamevember. You game?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize