no, he came in my armpit
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize