If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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