So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
