I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
