He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
