he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
