I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
