Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
