i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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