FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
