i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize