I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize