I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
