you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
