4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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