question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
