I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
