let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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