I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
