its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
