you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
