Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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