weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
