Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
someone get that fucking seahorse.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
