This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
