I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
