Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
