i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
