She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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