Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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