Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
