I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
