Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize