Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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