I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
