At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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