Do you still have your period?
zippers are such a cool invention
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
