I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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