I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
third nipple confirmed
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
