Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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