these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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