I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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