I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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