More tranny stories later!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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