So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize