I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
