i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
