we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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