he shaved USA in his pubs
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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