You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize