Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize