get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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