I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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