I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
