Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
