so explain again why im purple
no
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
