So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
