We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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