What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
