he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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