Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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