So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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